xs
you know why i’m hardly taken seriously? i’m little. you know why i’m not taxing your girlfriend? i’m little. you know why i haven’t ALREADY taken over the world? i’m little.
you know how i get props? how i get respect?
i got this troublesome mouth of mine, but i can’t fuck with people. i’ll get beat the fuck up. so generally i’m not myself around new people. older folk don’t talk to me like an adult until they catch me at a bar. i’m not being paronoid or insecure when i say this, but i walk into a bar and people look at me and assume i’m a 17 year-old virgin asian kid who’s never been tested by life. i’m asking to get fucked with. i’ve heard this.
so this is how i get my props: i sit down and order the hardest most rudebwoy shit they got. the bartender pours a pint of whatever and a shot of wild turkey (aka the funky bird, bad christmas dinner). that’s when i feel the curiousity all over me. who the fuck drinks wild turkey? did he just shoot that shit straight? he’s getting another one? i make sure they see me licking those off all night without making a funk face. it’s the only way i know to make frat-boys and big folk feel small. reading my book, drinking that big-round old dude under the table, who breaks the ice by asking me "where in mexico you from?"
sometimes that’s better than being called ‘boy’ (or cute).
i’m not complaining. i love little. i’m much more clever because of it.
i still wish i had a gigantic cock or lightning fists. i’ll settle for my iron liver and flawless complexion.
now please move along. i gotta hem my pants and shrink all my hoodies.
-mlv
"big guys always think they can win. little guys know what can happen. little guys understand an ass-whipping. little guys only fight when there’s no choice."
-chris rock
