laowlaowpantz

i’m dying.

so i go to the doctors cause the sick hasn’t gone away.  (it’s been two weeks.)  she places her hands on my neck and says "woah, you’re hot!"  i take off my shirt and she does the whole stethiscope (sp?) thing.  she asks me what i’ve been choughing up and the colour.  i tell her booger colour.  she takes my temperature.  it blasts to forty degrees.  she asks if i smoke.  i say YUP!  she tells me i got pneumonia.  i go for an x-ray and indeed, i do have pneumonia.

i didn’t even know you can still get pneumonia.  didn’t beethoven die of pneumonia?  i told the lady i had pneumonia and she hugged me like it was the last time.  she’s good like that.

WHAT IS PNEUMONIA?

Pneumonia is an inflammation of the lung caused by infection with bacteria, viruses, and other organisms. Pneumonia is usually triggered when a patient’s defense system is weakened, most often by a simple viral upper respiratory tract infection or a case of influenza. Such infections or other triggers do not cause pneumonia directly but they alter the mucous blanket, thus encouraging bacterial growth. Other factors can also make specific people susceptible to bacterial growth and pneumonia.

(excerpt from: reuters health)

everyone in my house and work  know why i got pneumonia.  i was black-out drunk every day for like two-weeks.  since christmas.  every morning waking up in a different part of my house.  missing a sock.  losing my shirt.  getting weird vibes from the lady.  oddly enough, i never woke up with a hangover.  so i felt i was invincible.  i ate good, but i guess it didn’t balance out.  a mickey of brandy or a bottle of wine a night ain’t good for you.  that combined with smoking unfiltered pouch tobacco.  anyway, enough about my favorite bad habits.

here’s a list of famous deaths by pneumonia:

- US president william henry harrison

- russian novelist leo tolstoy

- big band leader lawrence welk

- actor charles bronson

- writer and director billy wilder

- 19th century sharpshooter calamity jane

- composer franz liszt

- dutch painter piet mondrian

- jim backus the dude who played mr. magoo and thursten j. howell iii

and many, many more.

some of these folk were only sick for a week.  luckily i got anti-biotics.

don’t fuck with your body.  you might die.

now stroll before i cough up some nasty up on you.

-mlv

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 28th, 2006 at 1:19 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.